Have you ever hurt someone so deeply that you’ve done damage? Usually wounds result in defenses. Defenses result in more wounds. The relationship, that maybe has lasted years, dies a painful death.
When a close friend, who knows the deep parts of us, is suddenly (or sometimes subtlety) stripped from our hearts, the exposure is a raw vulnerable feeling of shame. We feel naked. The closer the relationship, the deeper the feeling. The walls go up to protect the raw, exposed, damaged heart and a hardness settles in to protect it. Over time we become someone we did not intend to be. The scab that covers the wound is the only covering we can offer the shame of our nakedness.
I’ve been on both sides of that. Maybe you have too. Nobody stays clean in a mud fight. (more…)